Respect: how to show it to the people we love

Respect for loved ones begins with respecting ourselves.

Don't store avocado like this: it's dangerous RESPECT - To consider, to have regard for the other is not such a foregone conclusion. Not even towards the people we love. The result is summarized very well in an old song by Zucchero: “There is no more respect… oh, what a pain!”. Whatever the reason, in fact, the disrespect it ends up destroying the quality of any relationship.

However, it is important to know that in order to express "genuine respect" towards others (i.e. a positive attitude and not a precautionary strategy, for fear of having to face unwanted consequences) it is necessary, first, starting from itself: respect each other, in short. In other words: knowing each other, listening to each other, having regard and not giving up their opinions, ideas, spaces, feelings and their expression; have a healthy level of esteem.

Authentic respect is therefore a two-way path: on the one hand we are able to give it spontaneously - to loved ones, acquaintances, animals, environment, nature, things - only if it is a quality that we also cultivate towards ourselves; on the other - as Dostoevsky wisely recalled - "only with respect for yourself do you oblige others to respect you".

One thing is certain: the more we develop an empathic capacity and a loving gaze, the more we know how to respect and honor those we meet for what they are, for their unique and unrepeatable nature. This attitude of respect for others will then be seen - as the studies of Hal Holloman and Peggy Yates published in the Journal of Positive Behavior Interventions also in our language.

Here are 5 ways of communicating that express respect for those we love:

  1. In times of trouble, use words of encouragement and support (remember strengths and potentials)
  2. If mistakes are made, distinguish the fact from the person (for example: do not say "you are incapable" but ... "you were not able to do this")
  3. Explain a clear willingness to understand ("I'm interested in knowing your point of view, what you think, what led you to this conclusion")
  4. Develop a willingness to listen, respect and acceptance of the emotional state and the needs of the other even when they are not in tune with their own (for example: "I understand that for you the situation can be so and so, that you need this or that, even if I think or feel things in a way different")
  5. Expression of words of love or emotional closeness even in silence ("I understand that now you want to be alone, do not want to talk about it; however, know that when and if you want, I am there").


"Respect comes from knowledge and knowledge requires commitment, investment, effort”, He remembered Tiziano Terzani. Basically it's like love. And it's worth it.

Illustrations: Painter Eun

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