Montessori method: how to replace punishments with natural or logical consequences

Montessori method: how to replace punishments with natural or logical consequences

In the education of children the concept of punishment is still very strong and can be applied by parents and other reference figures of the little ones in many ways. The Montessori method suggests instead replacing punishments with natural or logical consequences. But what exactly is it about?



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In the education of children the concept of is still very strong punishment which can be applied by parents and other reference figures of the little ones in many ways. The Montessori method suggests instead replacing punishments with natural or logical consequences. But what is it exactly?



By natural consequences we mean a much gentler system that can make children independent and responsible without the use of screams, punishments or threats.

Maria Montessori believed that the use of punishments (as well as rewards) inhibited the development of self-discipline. These solutions, often used by those struggling with children, deny children the opportunity to make unconditional decisions and to be responsible for their own behavior. With rewards and punishments, in fact, rather than learning how to analyze situations and make wise decisions, children often decide to behave on the basis of what an adult could do: reward them or, on the contrary, put them in punishment.

If you want to educate in a Montessori style, it is good to help the children to define and understand the natural or logical consequences, motivating and explaining every situation that arises in the best possible way. This way they will learn to make responsible decisions and will not be forced into submission to adults.

Using natural consequences will lead children to make the right decisions not to avoid punishment or out of fear, but because they will know the consequences and impact of their own actions. This way children will have the opportunity to learn from the natural order of things.

This is a good way to show children that their choices have an impact, both on themselves and on others. However, for the system to be effective, children need to be able to see the link between the action and the consequences.

When to use natural or logical consequences and some examples to get you started

Replacing a punishment with a natural consequence is possible in all sorts of behavior, from the simplest things like dropping a fragile object to the more complicated ones like biting friends.



Choosing how to educate your children is something very personal and often difficult, but for those who want to try to use natural consequences at home here are 10 examples to get started:

  • 1 scenario: it's time to go to the park and your child refuses to put on his shoes.
    Consequence: he will have to sit on a bench with you rather than play because it is not safe to run to the playground without shoes.
  • Scenario 2: your daughter throws all the food on the floor at dinner time.
    Consequence: he will not be able to eat.
  • Scenario 3: your child leaves his toys in the garden despite the request to bring them indoors
    Consequence: it rains and one of his favorite toys is ruined and needs to be thrown away.
  • Scenario 4: a child teases his sister
    Consequence: the sister doesn't want to play with him
  • Scenario 5: the child runs into the house
  • Consequence: a lamp breaks and it will take the money he has put aside or several weeks' allowance to repay it.

But sometimes bad behavior doesn't have an immediate natural consequence. For example, refusing to brush your teeth will lead to tooth decay in the future but even if you explain it to children, they probably won't change their positions because they don't see any direct effects.

In cases where there are no natural consequences or the consequence is too far in the future to be an effective deterrent, we can use logical consequences, something that we adults have to create.


Here are some examples of logical consequences:

  • Scenario 1: your daughter gives a push to a child on the playground.
  • Consequence: You tell your daughter that you can't trust her if she risks hurting other people when she plays alone. She will therefore stay with you until you know that when she plays she is calm and safe. This should be explained in the most neutral tone possible in order to make it clear that the impact of her choices has consequences and making it clear that the behavior she has had is not acceptable.
  • Scenario 2: your son treats the library books he has brought home badly.
  • Consequence: set the books aside explaining that if he cannot take care of them he will not be able to read them either because they must be in good condition when they are returned to the library. If your child is older, you may also prefer the natural consequence of having them tear off the pages and then save them to pay for the cost of the library.
  • Scenario 3: your daughter is playing in the backyard. You asked her to watch out for the flowers but she's stepping on them.
  • Consequence: you ask her to come in. If she can't be respectful of your garden, she won't be able to play with it either.
  • Scenario 4: your child gets angry every time he has to leave his friends' house
  • Consequence: You refuse the next invitation to play with friends by explaining to your child that he will no longer be able to go until he is able to play with that friend and then leave his home calmly when he leaves.
  • Scenario 5: the child gets up repeatedly at night, waking up several times without real reason ..
  • Consequence: you explain to him that in the morning you are too tired to prepare the usual breakfast he loves and he will have to fall back on something simpler.

On punishments, rewards and children's education, you may also be interested in:


  • THIS IS WHY PARENTS SHOULD NOT SPANK THEIR CHILDREN
  • THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL THAT REPLACED PUNISHMENTS AND CHUNNISHES WITH YOGA AND MEDITATION (PHOTO)
  • THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT REWARD CHILDREN WITH SWEETS

What do you think of this method, does it seem successful? Have you ever experienced it?

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