How to overcome the loss of a loved one

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Elia Tabuenca García
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Overcoming the loss of a loved one can be tricky and can take a very long time as that person is no longer there at any moment even though we wish they were.

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Exceed the loss of a loved one it can be complicated and can take a very long time since at any moment that person is no longer next to us even though we wish they were.

Il Zen Buddhism provides some tips for help those who are suffering to overcome the loss of a loved one. This oriental philosophy teaches the art of detachment understood as impermanence.

In short, we should never forget that the things and people around us are not eternal and that at any moment they may no longer be next to us. Assuming this point of view as one's own, the consideration of our existence changes radically.

In fact, starting from the principle of impermanence we realize even more how important it is to live moment by moment, seize the moment and avoid neglecting the people we love since we don't know until we can hug them or talk to them as we normally do. .

When a loved one dies but also when a friendship ends or we lose our job we find ourselves having to start living again. That's exactly what we need to do: keep living and reacting without letting go.

Being desperate and venting anger and sadness is completely normal, indeed, it is our right and a duty towards ourselves, otherwise these emotions would remain trapped inside us, wearing us down.


According to Zen Buddhism, impermanence is the state of constant change of things, it is their natural state. Everything changes moment by moment before our eyes and we cannot know in advance when those big changes that could upset our life will take place.

In cases of deep sadness we must have the courage to look inside ourselves, di recognize and express our emotions first of all trying to calm the mind. In fact, when the mind is agitated it is impossible to see the bottom in a comparison with the water of the sea or of a lake.

When we feel really bad and suffer from loneliness due to the disappearance of a loved one we try to ask for help. We shouldn't be afraid when we need a shoulder to cry on. We can choose the people we trust the most to let off steam and also to have a foothold available that will help us start all over again.

Read also: Farewells and separations: how to overcome abandonment (without trauma)

The death of a loved one, even if it makes us feel bad right now, could be for us a push for improvementor. Depending on who we have lost, his disappearance could mean that it is time for us to start getting by on our own.

We will go through a crisis, we will believe that we are dominated by negative emotions, we will experience melancholy, anguish, guilt, anger and fear but at some point, after overcoming the mourning, we will realize that life must still continue and that, once again, we must roll up our sleeves to be reborn and also to lend a hand to the people around us who are suffering from of the same loss.

Death, like birth, is part of life. It is an inevitable event and perhaps we can consider it a transition phase. Death is part of the cycle of life and any relationship we are experiencing right now with other people will sooner or later end, at least as far as present existence is concerned, for those who believe in reincarnation. If we managed to keep this awareness alive, perhaps we could become stronger in the face of life's most difficult challenges.

Marta Albè

Fonte foto: We Heart It

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