Here are the 4 phrases you should never say to a child if you want them to grow up smart and empathetic

Here are the 4 phrases you should never say to a child if you want them to grow up smart and empathetic

The new generations of children spend more and more time using smartphones and technological devices, risking developing a real relationship of addiction. As parents, we have a responsibility to watch over their activities, especially in a world as vast as the Internet, but we must be very careful about the language in which we speak to them.



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Choosing carefully the way we communicate with our children can make a difference in many aspects of their life, including the relationship with technologies. As we all know smartphones, computers and other technological devices occupy a large part of children's time, influencing both their current and future relationship with the outside world, impacting their ability to become empathic and intelligent adults.



Many studies have shown how important it is to limit the time that children spend in front of digital screens, but at the same time it is essential to direct children towards a relationship as balanced as possible with technology. (Also Read: 10 Reasons Why Kids Shouldn't Abuse Smartphones and Tablets)

Richard Culatta, expert in technological education, head of theOffice of Educational Technology of the United States Department of Education, suggests avoiding four sentences often used, providing simple examples of what it would be better to say as an alternative to your children.

Index

You are addicted to your smartphone

This sentence is so pronounced, risking to send the child a confused message. In fact, most of the time it is not the device itself that is addictive, but a particular app or website or game which, if used continuously, can be addictive.

How then to reformulate this affirmation in a serene way? Doctor Culatta suggests specifying what the real concern is, namely that the child risks isolating himself from the surrounding world in this way.

For example, we can say:

"It doesn't look like you have exercised yet today"
“I noticed that you haven't spent time with your family since you got home from school; let's do it so as to balance the way you spend the rest of the day "

You've been playing that game for too long

This statement focuses on the amount of time children spend on a single digital activity, such as playing some game via apps or websites.

This is not advisable, because it does not address what is wrong with the activity itself, among other things, they may notice that in other situations you may not make the same observations (for example if you are watching a movie or a cartoon) risking to make the child lose sight of the purpose of the speech.



This statement can be rephrased as follows:
"It seems this game is getting your attention more than it deserves, as it is mainly based on repetition and luck"

Stop sitting at your computer all day

This message is particularly confusing if the suggestion for a surrogate activity is reading a book, for example, which is certainly considered better, but physically not.

In this case in practice, the message "stop sitting" makes no sense to a child who is offered an alternative activity in which he is still sitting.

It is necessary to be more specific as to why the activity is considered wrong or lacking in balance.

The child can be addressed in this way:
If the concern is that they do not spend enough time reading, we can discuss the importance of having time for this activity every day, even through a technological device, making it clear that it is not the medium that is wrong, but the incorrect use. what do you do with it.

You have to interact with real people

Telling a child to detach from the smartphone to spend time with real people makes no sense, since even with devices you can actually interact with real people, albeit in a different way.


Examples of reworded statements:

"Your family also wants to have the opportunity to spend some time with you"
"It's also nice to have in-person interactions with your friends, to discover new games and new fun activities you can do together"

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Source: CNBC

Read also:

  • Too much time in front of cell phones, tablets and TVs radically changes children's brains, the study
  • Gestures, rules and habits that children really need
  • How to avoid raising a materialistic child by working on his generosity
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