The evolutionary role of the ego: making us feel those wounds that allow us to grow, learn new talents, measure ourselves with true loveDon't store avocado like this: it's dangerous
When we are born, among the tools that we carry with us into our new life, there is no doubt that there are emotional sensitivities "on the skin": Lisa Bourbeau he defines them as "wounds". The main ones, which we have to deal with and which are continuously activated and reactivated by people and situations, are five: rejection, abandonment, betrayal, injustice and humiliation; for each, some will be more tiring and painful than others. But all of them, all of them, are with us not by chance: their task is evolutionary, development.
"They are wounds of the soul - explains Bourbeau, therapist and trainer who directs" Listen to your body ", the largest school of personal growth in French Canada - and they signal to us, through suffering and discomfort, how far we are moving away from design of the Self, from the purpose of life to which we are called (to experience true love) and how we let the ego direct our days ”.
Yes, the ego. Useful, in some ways; ugly beast, for others. "The ego - explains Lise Bourbeau in her new book"The Five Wounds - New Keys to Healing”, per Amrita editions - feeds on our mental energy, relies on what happened in the past; it resembles a stain on a canvas which, unaware of being a stain, considers itself the canvas ”. Since he is afraid of disappearing, especially in a period like ours, characterized by a great movement of awakening of consciences, he is resisting. He tries to hide the truth (that is, he does not want to let people know that it is only the Self, connected to the Spirit, the true and authentic correct conductor of our life).
Therefore the ego suffers when its desires are not satisfied but also for the simple fear that they will not be. To "defend" it uses various strategies: likes to criticize others (and if he tells it, telling himself - and telling us - that they are only observations); try to frighten us (with respect to this person or situation); the perception of him is often exaggerated compared to the real context; it is identified with having and doing.
One can guess that the ego is a bit narcissistic: to feel important he tries to get compliments, he flatters himself in gratitude. He can't really listen to what happens or what is said to him, he only thinks about himself, his needs, his interests. It feeds on feelings of guilt (which immobilize), of comparisons with others (for better or for worse). The ego is self-centered, proud, selfish and also manifests itself every time we get defensive, in which we attribute the responsibility for something to someone else.
In an attempt to defend its survival, the ego actually gives us a gift: it shows us our "wounds". Its particular "reading" (it is in fact above all the interpretation or perception of facts - conditioned by temperament and preconscious, unconscious and conscious memories - that causes us great suffering, not what others do or are) nourishes, amplifies and reactivate in three ways:
- makes wounds act upon oneself (for example: I reject myself, I abandon myself, I humiliate myself, I betray myself, I am unfair to me)
- with behaviors aimed at others (for example: rejection, abandonment, humiliating, cheating, being unfair to someone or something)
- translating the behavior of others towards us (for example: I feel rejected, abandoned, humiliated, betrayed, they are unfair to me).
Read also: 5 emotional wounds that prevent us from living peacefully
By doing so, the ego forces us to take care of it. We have two ways to do this: the first is to “bask”, aching and unfortunate, in our emotional suffering, pleasing and strengthening the ego. Or, and it is the path proposed - step by step - by Lise Bourbeau in her book, we can choose to look at our wounds, to know them, taking responsibility for them (instead of thinking that the problems come from the outside and therefore looking for a solution outside of ourselves. self).
And then, slowly, heal them through acceptance and acting - with people and in situations - not on the defensive but with the heart, not out of fear but in authentic listening and acceptance - conscious and active - of what comes to meet life. Making it an opportunity to develop new talents, knowledge and skills that become different possibilities for acting in life. In a fuller, more aware and present way.