Brothers and Sisters: How Birth Order Can Affect Our Destiny

Who I am
Elia Tabuenca García
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The importance of the order of birth in building one's character-

Don't store avocado like this: it's dangerous

L'order of birth it influences the approach to the world and the ability to create relationships, make friends, act in the group and even the way in which a partner is chosen. According to anthroposophical pediatrician Karl König, it determines our "social destiny" in a similar way to how gender affects our character.

The study, interesting and accompanied by more recent scientific research and observations, is illustrated in “Fratelli e sorelle”, by Karl Koenig (Arcobaleno editions), a beautiful book, full of anecdotes, written with an almost poetic ability and capable of awakening personal considerations and reflections.

The premise is that children choose their parents before they are born. In fact, the mother and father, with their biological and psychological characteristics, immersed in a given social, cultural, territorial reality, will define the "outline": the environment that directly influences and distinguishes one's own biology, psychology and childhood.

The foundations on which the rest of life then unravels. Thus also the fact that one is born first or last, in a family (and according to some psychogenealogy scholars, children for any reason not born or died as soon as born should also be considered in their family axis), is not accidental and impresses certain guidelines. Which - König specifies - should, like any talent and authentic predisposition - be supported and supported by parents.

Essentially, the structure can be summarized as follows: the firstborn tries to conquer the world. The second child tries to live in harmony with the world. The third child tends to flee the direct relationship with society. The fourth, fifth and sixth children repeat the basic tendencies of the first, second and third children respectively. Or daughter, of course. That is: all the children who are born (or, according to some, are conceived: therefore regardless of the actual birth, they then determine the position) show the basic characteristics of the first three.

The first child is a bit like Janus: he looks towards his parents (the past), asks and cares for their approval, and at the same time towards his brothers and sisters (the future); he must defend tradition, preserve it from new ideas; he must protect what has been, even if deep down he would like something else. He is the symbol of continuity with the past that is projected into the future: and that is also his place.

For a time (unless it is a twin birth) he was also an "only child" and - in some ways - defends his place. He has a unique position: he is the connecting link between parents and other brothers and sisters. For the second runner, the central point is to conquer what is defended by another (the older brother or sister, who often also becomes a model to overcome or with which he enters into some competition). He is often one who breaks conventions, throws himself into the unknown: he was born "modern", so to speak.

To use a metaphor of König, if the first-born are the "foundations of a temple in which humanity performs worship, the second-born provide the pillars and architraves of the temple: they support the roof as an imprint of the sky, the vault of the heavens over U.S". The third child is a world a little apart, closer - as an "image" - to that of the only child.

If the first and second born are connected to each other, even in a complex but related relationship, the third is a "stranger" who suddenly bursts into their lives. A kind of "foreigner", all the more so as the years of difference between the first two increase. And at that point his character will make the difference: he will be able to make a great effort to qualify as a worthy companion of his older brothers or give up, stay on the sidelines, feel on the sidelines.

Read also:

  • Firstborn children: they are more likely to be overweight
  • The first children are smarter than the second. Word of the scientists
  • Becoming Uncles: The best gift siblings can give us is a nephew

The approach offered by König is really interesting: for everyone, especially for those who want to approach not only an emotional-psychological but also a spiritual point of view of the human being. He offers new understandings of himself, of the experience of his brothers and sisters and of others in general; it represents a help for parents and teachers and for those who work in the social sector: for a deeper understanding and support of the children who have been "entrusted" to them (from life or for work).

Anna Maria Cebrelli

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