The advice of Silvia Semenzin, sociologist and activist, who deals with the dissemination of the most important issues on the female world
Don't store avocado like this: it's dangerousOn May 28, the International Day of Menstrual Hygiene aims to raise public awareness on the issue of menstruation. What better occasion to help daughters, mothers and fathers face their first menstruation with serenity, away from taboos and embarrassments? Here are Silvia Semenzin's advice
Today is the International Day of Menstrual Hygiene, an opportunity to overcome clichés, discrimination and thousands of prejudices and false myths. In fact, there are still many embarrassments (but also superstitions) that revolve around the world of the menstrual cycle. A vicious circle of popular beliefs and die-hard taboos, which do nothing but damage the growth of millions of girls.
The solution? The simplest one. Let's start giving menstruation their name - no more "things", the marquises, the red barons and the various caterines… It is not like that. This has not been the case for millions of years.
What to know, then, to face together a delicate and important moment like the first menstruation? First thing? Break down clichés, stereotypes and taboos!
Here are the advice of Silvia Semenzin, sociologist and activist, who deals with information and dissemination of the most important issues on the female world and is committed to the fight against gender discrimination.
A real guide in 10 points created by Skuola.net for the educational project Uncomfortable Questions @School, designed to accompany teenagers, parents and teachers on complex and delicate topics such as interpersonal relationships, affectivity and sexuality, for growth free from gender stereotypes:
Index
Beware of body changes (but don't panic)
How to understand that the first menstruation is coming? Obviously it is very subjective. The first thing is to pay attention to changes in the body, such as breast enlargement or the appearance of hair.
When menarche approaches (ie the first menstruation) we can see signs in the belly or head, or "strange" mood changes. Of course, everyone understands differently, some for example do not experience particular symptoms. But in general these can be the first signs of development and that, therefore, the first menstruation is close ". It's a time when you slowly become an adult, and seeing your body change can be frightening. “You have to think that you are growing up and it is therefore important to observe without too much judgment the person you are becoming. This can be done by communicating one's doubts, comparing oneself with others and seeking information.
It is not normal to suffer from menstruation
With the arrival of menstruation, it is necessary to begin to break down the clichés that jeopardize the tranquility of adolescents. Perhaps one of the most dangerous stereotypes is that many believe that pain is normal during menstruation.
Thus, however, the fact that some women experience excruciating pain and feel very bad during the days of the menstrual flow is normalized, making it something "typical" that do not give too much weight. In reality this stereotype is what leads to non-recognition of diseases such as endometriosis, pathologies that deserve the utmost attention and which, starting from this assumption, are not recognized.
It is not true that menstruating women are not "lucid"
Another serious misconception is that, a cause of hormonal changes that affect mood, women are not rational or able to "think straight". This opens up to a series of discriminations that use menstruation to "silence" a woman or not to listen to what she has to say, "because she has her things about her".
Sure, maybe someone may feel more sensitive than on other days, due to hormones, but it's about mood swings, not reasoning skills! I can reassure everyone that women are perfectly capable of being rational and lucid even in those days.
Menstruation is not "dirty"
There are those who say that, during menstruation, you cannot do some practical things, such as taking a bath or eating certain foods.
These are absolutely false stereotypes. They derive from a series of taboos that revolve around the idea that the woman must be perfect and immaculate, and that the menstrual cycle can be almost something that dirties her, that makes her human.
Speak openly about menstruation is important precisely to destroy the thought that menstruation is something dirty, embarrassing or "lousy". In fact, we are talking about something more than natural, which affects all women and, above all, which shows that the body is in good health.
No shame about menstruation
Even today the female menstrual cycle is considered, as well as female sexuality, something shameful, which must be kept hidden and for this reason it should not be talked about. Instead, we need to break down this stereotype and talk about it, as we are doing now, because only in this way will girls stop feeling embarrassed by one of the most natural things in the universe. All women have periods and all of them get dirty at least once. Everyone at least once needed to ask a friend for a tampon. I don't see why we should feel embarrassed.
Also because these gender prejudices are often the cause why girls avoid doing things, because they are afraid or ashamed of the judgment of others, or because they think that what concerns their "intimate" life must be kept hidden.
In case of doubts or problems, no shame in asking for help
If you have any doubts or issues related to your period, there are a number of tools that teens can use, such as the internet.
This can help the more shy, but I especially recommend talking to a close person. If not a parent, relative or adult we trust. In case of important doubts and any more serious problems, it is always good to consult an expert.
Dad, not just delegated to mothers
The role of parents is very important in a particular and delicate moment such as that of female development. But often the role of guide is delegated to the mothers, while the fathers remain in the background. A habit that should now be over.
I believe it is very important to include fathers in the universe of the daughters. The advice I would give to parents in this case, especially fathers, is precisely to find out about the menstrual cycle and what kind of changes the female body has during puberty, really worrying about entering the world of adolescents, adopting an open attitude. and not judgmental, without shame but with the curiosity to discover the female anatomy.
Avoid (too much) modesty: an open atmosphere in the family can help the daughters
In general, in dialogue with girls, a parent (both mom and dad) should try to question cultural stereotypes about female sexuality.
Teenagers have a lot of questions to ask, but often they don't ask them for fear of being misjudged. This may be due to excessive modesty for the intimate and sexual sphere that reigns in the family. But if, on the contrary, you can immediately open a light and informal dialogue, then it is much easier to become a support figure for your children, both boys and girls.
Giving in to embarrassment would mean limiting access to essential information girls might need at the time. If there are questions or doubts, parents can and must be able to overcome the reluctance to facilitate the education and upbringing of their daughters, handling information in a conscious and mature way. By treating them no longer as children, but already as women.
The first menstruation? The occasion to talk about sex education in the family
I think it is good to tackle sex education when we see that the daughters have some doubts or curiosities. If neglect question has been asked, and your period comes a little unexpected, I think it's a great time to start talking about it.
You can also think of "breaking the ice" with books or documentaries, and then start a confrontation.
It's not too early to go to the gynecologist
Similarly, the arrival of menarche can be a good opportunity to start a check that "everything is ok" and start creating a relationship with a gynecologist who can also give information on sexuality (such as contraception and reproduction) and become a point of reference also in the future, in case of doubts or problems.
Returning to the discourse that perhaps it may not be easy with parents to talk about the most intimate issues, it is never wrong to contact a gynecologist and the arrival of menstruation can be a good time to start. Then we remember that it is important to go there consistently even starting from the first shared sexual relationship.
Read also:
- France wants free tampons and tampons in public places
- Tampon Tax: 5% VAT confirmed on organic tampons and sanitary pads. In June for the others too?
- Tampon Tax, 'The cycle is not a luxury': the video appeal of the deputies for VAT at 10%
- VAT on sanitary napkins: this is why the 'excuse' of the environment does not hold up
