Jerry Being Jerry

When Jerry Hairston Jr. played for the Cubs in 2005 and 2006, there was something about the guy that rubbed me the wrong way.

If I made a list of my least favorite Cubs, he'd be somewhere on that list.

I won't go so far as to say I hated the guy. I was at a Cubs-White Sox game at the new Comiskey Park on July 9, 1999 and remarked to a friend sitting to my left that I hated so-and-so on the White Sox.

A teenaged girl, who was seated to my right, looked me in the eye and calmly but firmly said to me, "Hate is a very strong word, don't you think?"

I did think about it, and she was right. Hate is a very strong word, so I try to reserve it for evil doers like criminals, liars, phonies, mean and inconsiderate people, and incompentent politicians. There are many other ways for me to express my dislike for the other people who grate my nerves. So I thank that anonymous girl who all those years ago taught me to be a bit more thoughtful.

So let's say that when Hairston played for the Cubs, he annoyed me.

I was never able to pinpoint specifically why I disliked him but I suspect some of the reasons were his lack of fundamentals, his lack of patience at the plate, his lack of hustle, the arrogance he seemed to display despite his lack of accomplishments, and the fact that Dusty Baker continued to pencil his name on the lineup card day after day.

Hairston now plays for the San Diego Padres and I was reminded Saturday of how happy I was when I learned on May 31, 2006 that he had been traded to the Texas Rangers. The trade did net Phil Nevin (another story for another day), but at least I didn't have to watch Hairston play every day anymore.

During a Cubs-Rockies commercial break Saturday, I changed the channel to the Padres-Marlins game on MLB Extra Innings in time to see Jerry being Jerry.

With two outs in the bottom of the sixth, Hairston hit a grounder that deflected off Florida pitcher Ricky Nolasco and was fielded by second baseman Dan Uggla. Hairston dove head first into first base as Marlins first baseman Gaby Sanchez received the throw from Uggla and he was called out by first base umpire Gerry Davis.

Players who are not trying to avoid a tag who dive head first into first base drive me batty. First, it's an easy way to get injured and secondly, it is fake hustle.

As Steve Stone has often times said over the years, "If diving into first was faster than running through the bag, than we would see sprinters diving at the finish line."

Hairston sprung to his feet with a look of indignation and as Padres first-base coach Rich Renteria approached him to take his batting helmet back to the dugout, Hairston did a two-hand slam of the helmet. It bounced off the ground and glanced off of Renteria. With the helmet laying at his feet, the coach gave Hairston a ticked-off look and appeared to say something like, "Pick up your helmet yourself, you prima donna!" before walking away.

It was classic.