If These People Managed The Cubs . . .

By Beachwood Reporter on Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Speculation of a different kind.

Congressional Democrats: Cubs season extended 99 weeks for duration of the recession.

Todd Stroger: He's gotta have at least nine more cousins or in-laws left somewhere, right?

Kevin Costner: All home games will be played at new field stocked with really awesome dead players.

Barack Obama: Continues century-old tradition of running team on nothing but hope.

Mike Ditka: Because baseball shouldn't have any pussies in it, either. And he's got new hips to handle frequent walks out to the mound.

Blago: Would just end up trying to sell the 1908 World Series trophy "for something good."

Pat Quinn: What's one more bobblehead?


See also: If Daley Managed The Cubs


By Scott Buckner


Forgot about Dubya: takes winning record into May and declares "Mission Accomplished." Or the Cubs teach him to choking doesn't have to be limited to pretzels.

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