Sim Zam

Carlos Zambrano is scheduled to throw a simulated game today in preparation for his return to the starting rotation. We have a preview.

Inning 3: Big Z fumes after a simulated fielding error results in a simulated run.

Inning 5: Big Z fumes after a simulated borderline ball four is called with the bases loaded with the simulated No. 8 hitter up.

Inning 7: Big Z points to a simulated God as if He had anything to do with an inning-ended strikeout.

Inning 9: Big Z smashes a simulated Gatorade cooler after he is finally taken out having given up six simulated earned runs on 120 pitches.

Postgame: Big Z refuses to speak to the simulated media as he rushes out of the clubhouse to cash his very real paycheck.

The Cubs declare Big Z to be ready.