Cubs vs. Hawks

By Beachwood Reporter on Wednesday, May 26, 2010

"Cubs cede radio time to Hawks."

Just so you won't get confused:

Cubs: Cursed by a goat.
Hawks: Cursed by a ghost.


Cubs: Star player gets paid to hop in the outfield.
Hawks: Star player hops out of cabs without paying.


Cubs: Big Z missing frontal lobe.
Hawks: Duncan Keith missing bottom row.


Cubs: Drop balls to end games.
Hawks: Pucks drop to start games.


Cubs: Decades of games on TV have caused misery and heartache.
Hawks: Decades of games not on TV have caused misery and heartache.


Cubs: Z.
Hawks: Q.


Cubs: Kosuke Fukudome.
Hawks: Dusty Byfuglien.


Cubs: Lou Piniella's gut has taken on a life of its own.
Hawks: Joel Quenneville's mustache has taken on a life of its own.


Cubs: Anti-winning.
Hawks: Antti Niemi.


Cubs: Mascot conquered by man.
Hawks: Mascot conquered by white man.


Cubs: Getting a new Toyota sign.
Hawks: Getting new trophy.

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