Best Of Game Notes Vol. 8

As we all recover from the shock of seeing the wave in Wrigley Field, and -- just as shocking -- we rub our eyes with the Cubs winning another one as they finally sustain a roll, it’s time for another round of game notes in the hopes that we can keep our spirits up during these first dog days of August.

• Have you seen the new Quiznos Smokehouse Beef Brisket sandwich advertisement? That’s not brisket, y’all. I’m tellin’ ya - I’ve learned a little something about Brisket in the last year and that is some weak looking meat.
  
  
• Seriously - do you know anyone who actually has Aflac insurance? How are they making enough money to sponsor all these Trivia Questions?
  
  
• OK - who didn’t the Pirates trade? They dealt like 9 guys. Jason Bay’s gotta feel like the big city varsity player who moved to a small town high school.
  
  
• Bob said the Cardinals’ Ronnie Belliard trade was not a sexy move. As far as I’m concerned, let’s keep the sex talk to fan cam, OK?
  
  
• Wait a second... do you think Neifi will clear waivers?
  
  
• I’m sorry Ms. Jackson, but why would you name your son Conor? He’s liable to end up calling himself Bright Eyes and singing songs that resemble poetry.
  
  
• So, there were like 2 bad music references in that last one. My bad.
  
  
• Huh? Neifi is the Cubs batting average leader with runners in scoring position? But we need him to be our foil. Stats like that just won’t do, not one bit.
  
  
• I can’t even finish writing about how much sense it makes to bring in a flyout guy like Glendon Rusch on a night with crazy wind blowing out before Byrnes goes deep. Umm, Dusty? Meteorology is not all that hard a science in this case.
  
  
• You know, I’ve had a Bacardi Mojito, and I gotta say -- not that impressed.
  
  
• I’m keeping track of how many songs they play on ‘70s night for which I can name the artist... final tally: 12 for 21. I got Led Zeppelin, the Bee Gees, Styx, Alice Cooper, Zeppelin again, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Pink Floyd, Deep Purple, Jethro Tull, REO Speedwagon, the Partridge Family, and Yes, although I nearly confused Yes with Steely Dan. Whew, that was close - almost under 50%.
  
  
• Speaking of Lynyrd Skynrd, does anyone else think it’s funny that they named their band after a gym teacher that hated longhaired students? I bet that really ruined Leonard Skinner's life. Way to go, guys -- revenge really must be sweet.
  
  
• Is it just me or does Eric Byrnes look like the ‘before’ picture in a Rogaine ad, even with his hat on?
  
  
• Hey David Cassidy - you know how I know you’re gay? You’re David Cassidy.
  
  
• I think I want to track down a Magnum PI-style Detroit Tigers hat for this October. (Double reverse anti-jinx in full effect, Tiger fans.)
  
  
• I don’t know if it’s kosher to say this, but Hilary Duff as Lizzie McGuire is no Melissa Joan Hart as Clarissa or Sabrina.
  
  
• Jimmy Buffett!
  
  
• I haven’t seen all that much of Izturis, but I think the Cubs have cornered the market on eighth-hitting shortstops.
  
  
• You know, if I get married, I think I’ll have the reception introductions done to the WGN Cubs baseball lead-in music.
  
  
• The wave? At Wrigley? I’m with the people booing.
  
  
• Actually, how would one stop the wave? Do you have to start it going the other direction so they crash together?
  
  
• Wow. Fielder’s choice & double play scored 6-5-5. Wow. That’s quite possibly the worst Cubs baserunning I’ve ever seen.
  
  
• How about the Captain Morgan commercial where the guys order a pizza for delivery and then get a ride home with the delivery guy? That’s sort of genius. Like, why don’t taxi drivers also sell pre-made burritos? Wouldn’t they make a killing?
  
  
• Is Edward Norton narrating MGD commercials? Huh. First Clooney for Budweiser, then Norton for MGD. Maybe Coors can get Mel Gibson. That should be a good fit.