Best of Game Notes Vol. 1

That’s right -- two weeks into the season, the Cubs are a half game out of first, and it’s been a fun time already. Time to recap the best of the Game Notes so far, volume 1 of season 2. Hope you enjoy!

• A leadoff triple by Pierre! Am I dreaming?
  
  
• Pierre makes a great catch in center. Did I ever mention that Corey Patterson didn't retreat well?
  
  
• Kearns doubles, and Dusty pulls Zambrano. And... drumroll... the season's first double switch! Who had the fifth inning of game 1 in the Cubs Nation pool? Let's see... Ester Lillyweather from Lansing, IL wins a...
  
  
• Murton gets an infield single. Apparently the Reds were as surprised as I was -- they totally botched it. So now I see: Dusty abstained from the hit and run all last season as strategy for 2006. Genius!
  
  
• Fan cam goes 1 for 10, and it was a generous 1. What, no snow bunnies? Blondes in sexy parkas? Come on... We've been waiting ALL WINTER and this is all they came up with?
  
  
• Len & Bob are discussing Arroyo’s “flowing golden locks” of hair. I agree with making fun of him. What did his parents expect, naming him Bronson? It’s like naming your daughter Mercedes and then watching her become an exotic dancer. (Sorry to everyone who’s made that joke better than I just did.)
  
  
• Arroyo leads off hitting a homerun. Are you kidding me? A 400 foot shot by Bronson frickin’ Goldie Locks Arroyo? [...] Len, observing Arroyo after his HR: “That’s gnarly – I think I could read his lips.” Len & Bob are back into a great rhythm.
  
  
• Wait – Arroyo has a CD? Covering grunge songs by Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, etc.? It’s called “Covering the bases.” Of course, if Doc Gooden had put out a CD it would have been “Covering the freebases.” (ba-dum-ching!)
  
  
• Mercker is in for Arroyo. Kent has long hair and a soul patch! I’m just wondering: what is Steve Stone saying behind his back right now? I bet the word “ninny” comes up.
  
  
• Hammond & Coffey are in the Reds pen... Len: “[which is] what I had for breakfast this morning.” That was Chip Caray-esque.
  
  
• aphex04: “not that this has anything to do with today's Cubs game, but i have to post about Chip Caray. he's broadcasting Braves games now; i'm a Braves fan; and as far as i'm concerned, you can have this guy back. i was just listening to yesterday's Braves radio broadcast, and i lost count of the number of puns that Caray made about Brad Penny's last name. stuff like, "his pitching has sure been worth more than one cent tonight," and, "Brad Penny's looking like a million bucks so far!" it's almost unlistenable. just thought you'd all like to be reminded of what you're no longer forced to endure...”
  
  
• The Cardinals are wearing bright red knit hats underneath their helmets and hats. Eckstein looks like his mother told him he couldn’t go out and play unless he wore something to cover his ears. “Awww, mom, come on – the guys are gonna laugh at me!” he pleaded. “Well, they won’t be laughing when they all have pneumonia, David,” she said sardonically, obviously a woman who could care less for protecting her son from the jibes of the other fellas. “Now put your hat on.” “OK,” David said sullenly as he trudged out into the cold, just knowing that taunts awaited him down at the ballfield. He could hear them already.
  
  
• Wait, Comcast is sponsoring HD games on WGN? Say what? Isn’t that like incestuous or something else unnatural and unholy?
  
  
• Fan Cam: 1 for 9. They play “The Boys Are Back In town,” but it’s a weak cover by Everclear. They did not bring anything to the table on that effort – shoulda played the original. I feel very strongly about this; I once ranted for a couple of hundred words in an essay against the Ataris covering Don Henley’s “The Boys Of Summer.”
  
  
• KJM sends over an early report from the bleachers, where hecklers are pestering the Cardinals, “Which one of you takes it in the Pujols?” Apparently it’s especially funny since the hecklers are wearing turbans and robes with Cubs numbers on the back. I’m guessing the Cardinals have heard that one before, but maybe not quite like this.
  
  
• Yep, several of my friends are in the Bud Light Bleachers. Left Field. As KJM put it in an e-mail last week: “Maybe I can get Bud Light to sponsor my couch as the Bud Light Couch for the season so I can afford to go to more games in the Bud Light Bleachers.”
  
  
• Comcast adjusted their top bar to accommodate widescreen TVs! Yes! Finally, they did something right.
  
  
• Jones strikes out again. Badly. Again. If they wanted a right fielder to close his eyes and swing hard they could have just gotten Sosa back. You know, since I hear he’s available.
  
  
• AHH! Comcast’s satellite goes out! Evil, evil Comcast... and this after I compliment you for adjusting the top status bar on your broadcast. Why dost thou continue to torture me even after I have left your jurisdiction?
  
  
• KJM: “The heckling of So Taguchi and his habit of constantly putting his hand in his back pocket started early.”
  
  
• KJM: “Got a text message from JCB that the Pierre third strike was a bad call. Talk about fast, Pierre and not even left the field before that message came through. I wonder if JCB has "That was a bad call" on his speed text list?”
  
  
• Hey, fan cam catches two consecutive hot women! Alright! [...] OK, let’s just say that fan cam has finally broken its slump, because they’re on fire finding the hottest chicks they can.
  
  
• A drunk girl falls down – I mean completely biffs while swaying – in the bleachers as Ron Santo sings the stretch... but holds on to her beer. Now that’s Old Style. And downright impressive both by her and the camera crew to catch it. Did I mention fan cam is on fire today?
  
  
• KJM reports that “Ron Santo just said Aramis is taking the day off because he pulled his butt muscle.”
  
  
• Does anyone think it’s funny seeing the juxtaposition of Neifi in the batter’s box in front of the careerbuilders.com ad? It’s a ready-made photo op for all the haters.
  
  
• Neifi, Hairston, Pagan and Blanco all in the lineup. I ran that backwards, and thought that for sure this meant Neifi hitting cleanup. But no, it’s Murton.
  
  
• Anyone see Koronka pitch last night for the Rangers? He looked real sharp. Good for him, and his hot girlfriend.
  
  
• With Milton on first after a fielder’s choice, Z balks by throwing to Lee at first when he’s not on the bag. Ugh. Then he plunks Freel. As Frank Black memorably sang, “Where is my mind?”
  
  
• Z walks Hatteberg. What’s with Carlos today? Is he wondering what happened to the quality writers for the Simpsons this season, trying to figure out why they seem to have hired a bunch of no talent hacks?
  
  
• Pink Cap day next weekend? What, there are 10,000 women who don’t already have one?
  
  
• Girls Gymnastics State Champs are singing the stretch. Probably a good thing it’s a weekday game so there are less lecherous drunks making jailbait jokes.
  
  
• They have homemade Bay Watch signs for Jason Bay. Get it? Baywatch? Seems fitting for a pasty Canadian to have a sign about a show featuring tan Californian lifeguards.
  
  
• Bay strikes out. Which reminds me: was anyone else hoping Ryu would make the club so we could make Street Fighter jokes? Like “Got Ken with a Dragon Punch,” or for that K, a “Ryu unleashes the Hurricane Kick?” Or is that just me?
  
  
• Pittsburgh has the Coors Light fan cam. I’m briefly excited, but the air let out of that one in a hurry. 4 shots, 4 dudes, two of which were drinking beer that may or may not have been Coors Light. Weak!
  
  
• Bay hits a HR. 8-6 Cubs. At least Ohman can console Wuertz, having just gone through something very similar. I bet those two blitz through a case of Yuengling tonight.
  
  
• Wuertz optioned to Iowa for Novoa. Ouch. I hope he’s not on the Jon Leicester derailment plan. He must have definitely drank a case of Yuengling last night.
  
  
• Fan Cam: 2 for 9. It was only 2 with the Pittsburgh Shift. (That’s where I’m generous, factoring in the lack of hot women in Pittsburgh.)
  
  
• T: “I only saw about five minutes of the game, during which was the fan cam. I disagree with your scoring, I would give it .5 of 9, if half points are allowed. It was too old male Pirate fan oriented tonight.”
  
  
• Pittsburgh’s Coors Light Fan Cam goes 1 for 4. The one was a cute blonde wearing oversized bunny ears and drinking a beer. Happy Easter!
  
  
• Trenni, the Pirates cute blonde field reporter (I enjoyed her the other game too) interviews the Cubs fan who caught both Ramirez’s & C. Wilson’s HR balls. He threw Wilson’s ball back. [...] The Pirates announcers discuss fans throwing balls back in other parks than Wrigley. I agree. It’s like the bouncing Cameron Crazies – I’m against imitating other venues’ senseless cool traditions.
  
  
• “Drivers without insurance all seem to get pulled over in the same place: the state of denial.” What? That makes no frickin’ sense. And who’s ever heard of the “Safe Auto Insurance Company” anyway?
  
  
• This is not up for debate: Joan Jett simply did not write music conducive to the ballpark organ. Let’s keep her in the jukebox where she belongs.
  
  
• Jackie O sunglasses are still ubiquitous, and I’m still against them.