Hook 'Em, If I Can Say That

6:58 PM



I’ve decided to stay home and write during the Rose Bowl. I fully intended to go to the bar district or one of the bars near UT’s campus, but I bailed at the last minute. I went for a run instead, just got out of the shower, and I have macaroni & cheese on the stove. I forgot to run to the grocery store so I’m going to be cooking without milk, but I’ve done this before and it doesn’t taste awful.



My top choice was to watch the game at the Alamo Drafthouse, the downtown view & brew featuring quirky arty movies and old classics, the sort of theater that makes one want to live in a big city because just knowing that they aired The Jerk with Steve Martin the other night while serving Pizza in a Cup just makes everyone feel cooler by association. Cool by association is a lot of what constitutes cosmopolitanism, when you break it down.

The Drafthouse isn’t happening, however. I was going to go with a good friend, but he is sick. So sick, in fact, that he canceled a trip to Las Vegas tomorrow for the weekend. More on that in a second.

7:04 PM

There’s a spot with Matthew McConaughey, then Will Farrell. It’s a Texas / USC point-counterpoint. Was this really necessary? I mean, I like both of those guys, but geez.

OK, actually the spot wasn’t bad. And come to think about it, both of those guys so sort of capture something of the essence of the teams they purport to represent. McConaughey doesn’t seem to care what anyone thinks and is awful confident, and Farrell doesn’t seem to care what anyone thinks and is just way out there. Texas and Southern California. Although McConaughey as Wooderson in Dazed and Confused (filmed in Austin) gets part of the other side of the Texas stereotype too. Little Foosball? Alright.

A lot of people might not realize that Austin has a pretty decent film community going, being (rightfully) overshadowed by the music scene. It wasn’t just faux cachet when the Real World had the kids make a film for their, um, job. Like Office Space, for example, is an Austin movie.

7:06 PM

Interlude: This is not going to be a Bill Simmons running diary. I’m usually only good for 2-6 jokes a game, which is why I collect them over the course of two weeks before putting up my Best of Game Notes series. And it’s debatable whether most of them are funny to people other than me. Moreover, I’m not qualified to analyze or interpret this game. Before the last week or so, I could quickly name exactly 1 person on Texas and 2 on USC. It certainly didn’t help that I canceled my cable to work on a novel, but in any case I’ve seen about 7 quarters of Longhorn football – 2 here, 3 there, then 2 more – and I only saw the end of the USC / Notre Dame game as far as they go. Might as well admit that up front.

Plus, I do intend to talk some about the Cubs.

7:24 PM

The players are taking the field, and part of me thinks I should have gone to the Drafthouse. The guy who would have joined me is severely ill, though, what started as a New Year’s Eve hangover that stayed. His wife is ill, too. She was supposed to be in Vegas already for the Consumer Electronics Show. He was going to fly out for the weekend since she would have a hotel room anyway. To cancel all that, they must have been really, really sick, right? On top of staying home for the Longhorns championship game (and on top of missing the Adult Entertainment Expo, also this weekend, at the same hotel), no less.

So, anyway, I decided not to go by myself. I don’t mind going out by myself, but I’ve also been staving off a bit of illness, and several beers probably wouldn’t help matters.

7:30 PM

Apparently Reggie Bush is a combination of Barry Sanders and Walter Payton. Wait, let me shake my head clear for a second while I nod along... WHAT? Plus, I’m really wishing they would say something like, “I know we don’t really talk about him, but Reggie Bush really reminds me of the Juice, O.J. Simpson, the way he murders... {awkward silence}... I mean attacks the... never mind. I meant to talk about his running, honestly. Sorry everybody.”

7:37 PM

It occurs to me: I don’t feel bad about writing during the game. I have decided that I’m not even a fair-weather fan; I’m not a fan at all. I mean, I’m rooting for the Longhorns, but mostly just because I live here now, and because I want to be witness to the spectacle downtown when they win. I like seeing large amounts of people go nuts celebrating. I missed the White Sox parade, too, so this could maybe make up for that.

How long do you have to live someplace before you can adopt its benefits of identity? I moved into my apartment a little over 6 months ago, and that’s definitely not long enough to call my self a Texan, or an Austinite, or a Longhorn. Although if I accept their offer to go to law school, then I guess I get to wear the badge.

Plus, I’m not even much of a football fan. I like football, but I watch something like 1,800 innings of baseball each of the last few years, and there’s only so much time in the day. So, I’m a casual football fan at best. I will always root for the Bears to win, whomever they play, when I watch, but I don’t follow them enough to make intelligent predictions. And I watch college football even less. I guess I’m interested just in case a storyline takes shape that’s worth losing myself in for a while.

Not that I mind fair weather fans when it comes to the teams I invest myself in. More power to them, and their loss. The story is better when you stick with it.

7:56 PM

I was debating whether to post the pictures I got of Matt Leinart in my e-mail on December 14, then decided I should query the internet and see if they’re already up. They are. http://www.burntorangenation.com/story/2005/12/14/121326/71
If the story is true, I hope Lauren from Texas shut him down, hard.

8:01 PM

They finally decided to make a security movie called Firewall. Who had 2006 in the pool?

That reminds me. My friend RDS proposed a theory in college called the 75-percent rule. It was that when I made jokes, about 75 percent of them were funny, but the 25 percent that weren’t, really weren’t. I mean, eyes-darting-sideways-and-jaw-open response kind of bad. I have a feeling that last joke was like that.

8:07 PM

The Cubs, in roundabout fashion. Here’s the thing: Texas expected to be here, and USC did too. Right from pre-season, it was these two teams charting their courses at each other. (I had to avoid using a horns metaphor there.) Here in Austin, anything less than a Rose Bowl appearance would have made this season a disappointment, and for some fans, anything less than a Rose Bowl win would make this season a disappointment.

So, the question: what would constitute a successful season for the Cubs? Making the playoffs? Making the NLCS? Making the World Series? Winning the World Series? Sweeping the World Series, like the White Sox?

Some people are already preaching doom and gloom, talking about finishing in the middle of the division.

FUMBLE! 8:11 PM. Texas recovers!

Anyway, here’s what I’m thinking: this team is not going to be worse than last season. There is not one area in which they have gone backwards, especially when you factor last season’s injuries. Some moves might turn out to be lateral (Burnitz for Jones, Cedeno at shortstop) but the players on the field will be at least as good as the players on the field last year. So, given the improved lineup and more so, the bullpen – with so many close losses, why don’t more people think this is a really big deal? – I can’t see them finishing under .500.

For me, gauging on January 4, a successful season will be 88 wins. A great season will be 92. If 88 or 92 isn’t enough to make the playoffs, so be it, but it ought to be right there. Into the season we might start being able to shifting success to something relative to the rest of the division, but right now, I’m thinking in terms of wins.

Some people like to make the argument that what constitutes success is a function of payroll, and since the Cubs will be among the 8 largest payrolls, anything short of the playoffs will be disappointing. There’s some reasoning there that makes sense, and is easy to follow, but hey – it’s not my money (except the tiny part that is) so as long as they’re spending an evenhanded amount and signing the right kind of players and getting those guys to play the right way as much as possible, I’ll be OK with it.

Also, I hate cutting and running and declaring things a proven failure too quickly. A lot of people are doing this with Hendry now, and it’s long been the case with Baker. I just can’t help but think that there’s something wrong with making the judgment so soon. 3 years? The first of which they overachieved, and then only 2 bad ones?

Allow me to soapbox for a sentence: it’s this sort of instant gratification climate in culture that contributed to the steroid problem in the first place.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t analyze and examine leadership and their decisions, but until it’s clear that the course is doomed, I say let them finish it out. That goes for MacPhail, Hendry and Baker through at least 2006. And when the Cubs do well in 2006 after all, I won’t be one of the people saying they did it despite the office. For better or worse, this office had an idea for a winning team, and if anything was cursedly blessed with early returns in 2003. I’m not saying the 2005 Cubs didn’t underachieve, either, because they did. It’s just that these sorts of stories play out over eras as often as they play out over single seasons.

The other thing is that people keep trying to project Baker’s mistakes onto this team, which makes little sense to me. I’m far from a Baker apologist – I cringed thousands of times last season – but a lot of his tendencies have been handcuffed. Tragic bullpen misuse? Now he has a bullpen full of solid role guys. Lineup shifting? Now he knows that Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez will anchor it. Leadoff carousel? Now he has one.

Interception at the goal line! 8:31 PM. Longhorns football! Huge play. Plus, score one for instant replay. It makes an awful lot of sense in football... or in any sport situation where there are lines or clocks, as far as I can tell. In fact, the one thing I think they could do well for instant replay in baseball is fair / foul, or a homerun ball hitting near a line. Although, it’s tougher in baseball because a ball can still be in play even while it’s in foul territory, which is unique, and means that if an umpire calls it foul, play stops when it wouldn’t have otherwise. Tough to say, anyway, but it helped them get the call right this time in any case.

8:39 PM

I spoke too soon. Apparently the Longhorns caught a break that replay could have taken away. So, the system ain’t perfect, that’s for sure.

To finish my rant: there are times when it is appropriate to call for a manager’s firing, or for a new GM strategist, but in general I think fans invoke this call too often, and in particular I think the Cubs in 2005 were not one of those cases. When Nomar went down the Cubs were doomed to a season of leaky lineups, and we all knew the bullpen was shaky from the start. It was an awful lot for any manager to overcome (not that Baker didn’t often make the worst of it). So if you’re of the mind that Hendry should be fired for taking a flyer on Nomar and for failing to shore up the bullpen, that’s one thing, but I was behind the Nomar signing (and wished they would have made an offer for 2006) and part of the bullpen fallout was that Prior and Wood were hurt more than anticipated.

I guess my point is that it wasn’t a certainty that it would play out as badly as it did in 2005, and looking back, a year ago I wouldn’t have even called a lot of what happened likely.

8:52 PM

Touchdown Longhorns! What do you think Pete Carroll’s halftime talk will be like? Fire and brimstone angry motivation? Or sappy I-believe-in-you?

8:56 PM

Leinart almost got picked again. Plus, another replay suggesting a bad call, this time in the Trojans favor. At least it’s kind of evening out. Or something. Actually, I take that back. Every bad call compounds it, regardless of who is helped. Two wrongs don’t..., or something.

9:07 PM

Looks like 16-10 at halftime.

I’ve decided that I’m just going to post this after the game ends, without editing.

I haven’t decided if I’m going to go for a drive if Texas wins (double-reverse anti-jinx). I can be at the Clock Tower in less than 10 minutes if there isn’t a traffic jam, and downtown in about 3... Part of me wants to head out and see if there isn’t celebratory bedlam, mayhem, and pandemonium. And cowgirls.

But part of me will want to go to sleep, I know. I’m tired. And I’m planning to go hear Eliza Gilkyson at this bar on one of the Lake Austin docks tomorrow night.

9:37 PM

I’m kind of running out of steam. I thought it would take me all game to make my Cubs points, but it didn’t. Oh well, I guess I’ll just see what happens here.

9:54 PM

Vince Young is freaking awesome. That drive in answer to USC’s touchdown was great. Reggie Who?

10:04 PM

OK, USC is good too. I think I need to pay close attention here in the second half. It’s shaping up to be one of those storylines that demands attention.

10:15 PM

What’s with Texas’s place kicker? Missing an extra point and a field goal? Ugh. I wonder if there is a worse feeling than a place kicker who misses a kick in a close loss. I mean, he’s only out there for a few plays all game, while the other guys are grinding and grueling it out. Now that I think about it, other than a few exceptional kicks, it’s kind of a thankless job, the sort where you can at best do what you’re supposed to and at worst disappoint everyone in a lonely moment.

Oh well, this is not a new point I’m making, so I’ll let it go.

10:47 PM

Touchdown USC... Uh-oh.

10:59 PM

Vince Young runs for another TD... stoking hope’s embers...

11:07 PM

USC is short on Fourth-and-One... Dare we?

11:18 PM

Fourth-and-Five on USC's 9... and Vince Young scrambles to the corner of the end zone!!! Oh my God!!! He did it!!!

11:24 PM

Over 2,500 words later, it's over. People will be talking about Vince Young's performance in this game for years, decades, whatever. And he deserves it, because that was just incredible, and I'm not using that word loosely.

I think I picked a hell of a year to move to Austin. I kind of wish I hadn't started a job, so I could go out and witness (participate in?) the madness tonight. And it's tempting to go out anyway...

Beyond the pale, Keith Jackson says. Nice. Vince Young pushed past the limits, no doubt about it.