Best Of Game Notes Vol. 8

What a series!



Anyway, once again it was a two-week roller coaster ride. In case you weren't following along, here are the Game Notes highlights from the last two weeks.

• How funny was it when Sam Ryan asked David Ortiz's daughter [at the HR Derby] how special this was for her to watch, but she had no idea what the question was because she doesn't speak English? Way to go ESPN -- good call having Sam Ryan do post-round interviews. That was a magic moment.
  
  
• Why does Chris Berman keep feeling the need to use his tagline, "Back back back back ... Gone." It's a good tagline, but it sounded really forced, didn't it? Especially on balls that went 485'. Or, how he kept bringing up Michigan references? "That one went to the Upper Peninsula!" "That one landed in East Lansing." "That one's headed for Kalamazoo!" We get it Chris -- you're giving props to Michigan. Funny how he never brougt up Flint.
  
  
• I have one lingering question from the All-Star game: Is Jeannie Zelasko pregnant?
  
  
• Len says Jason Bay did not play in the All-Star game -- the only position player who didn't. What a bad trip for him, getting 0 HR in the Derby and then sitting all game. I wonder if he was going around all week in Detroit saying "But I'm an All-Star! I was in the Homerun Derby! I play for the Pirates!" ("Sure you do.")
  
  
• I just realized that we haven't seen the Pink Slip Virus commercial in a while. I hope I didn't just jinx it, but it's about time they retired that one.
  
  
• I can see why Craig Wilson had long hair: he looks like a dweeb without it.
  
  
• The camera shows Ron Santo, and Len thinks he's drinking coffee. Umm, no, that's not coffee. You see any steam? I don't.
  
  
• I should be careful not to insinuate. Can diabetics drink whiskey? I'm not trying to be in bad taste, but I'm actually curious about this. I don't really know anything about diabetes.
  
  
• The new Visine "Pure Tears" comes in a bottle that rations a single drop for you at a time. Come on people. Are we so helpless that we need special 1-drop eyedrop dispensers? Was anyone having a hard time controlling the drops? What's next, individually packaged rubbing alcohol pre-soaked cotton swabs? (Wait. That's not bad.)
  
  
• Fan cam goes only 4 for 12, but the theme from "Welcome Back Kotter" is bonus points. Someone needs to have a "Welcome Back Kotter" TV marathon again. "Did I ever tell you about my uncle Bernie who never took a bath?"
  
  
• Do you think the black streaks under the eyes really help? I bet there's an internet page about this.
  
  
• The Pirates say Jason Bay has been suffering from flu-like symptoms. A likely excuse. Sounds more like a hangover after a bender after a DNP in the all-star game.
  
  
• Castillo singles, and reaches second on a fielder's choice. Then he's thrown out 6-5 on a groundball to Neifi. Even Moises Alou didn't make that mistake.
  
  
• I'm switching back to Comcast to hear Mark Cuban sing the stretch. He is not good. Maybe he'll write about it in his weblog.
  
  
• I know I was bitching about that Visine commercial the other day, but that chick is hot.
  
  
• Santo is visiting with Len & Bob for the TV premiere of This Old Cub. I gather it's "inspirational." (I joke, but it's programmed into my TiVo.)
  
  
• Maddux singles. Lawton tried to get the 9-3 putout, but his throw was off. Andre Dawson would have made that play.
  
  
• Bob Brenley brings up how Dawson used to make those plays. Damn. That previous note just lost its elitist flavor. Props to Bob though.
  
  
• They show a Rolling Stones commercial. I heard Pearl Jam might open for them. How cool is that?
  
  
• The camera catches a 30+ guy trying to pick up 19-ish girls in the bleachers. That's nice. Guy: "You know, I can buy beer."
  
  
• The camera shows (yet another) girl in Jackie O sunglasses. That reminds me, I saw a girl running on the trails this morning wearing big Jackie O sunglasses. Whether you like them or not in general, that is just ridiculous.
  
  
• Len drops a Dandy Warhols reference. Very nice. Bob mentions that he likes Weezer and Cake, which is OK, but Len wins with points for music street cred.
  
  
• Neifi: pinch hits for Blanco, and grounds out 5-3. I don't know how Neifi didn't beat out that play.
  
  
• St. Louis put up 3 on Clemens in the second, but only 1 earned run. Frickin' St. Louis. I'm building up hatred for this weekend already.
  
  
• WGN cameras catch a "VOTE FOR PEDRO" t-shirt, and Bob brings up skills, like nun-chuk skills. No kidding. Tell me Bob, do chicks dig guys with baseball managing skills more than bo staff skills?
  
  
• I bet the Sharp HDTV they show off would look better in HDTV.
  
  
• RDS (re: eye black): "Did you catch Len and Bob's disscussion (mostly Bob...) on Sunday about this? I bet Bob was a real dork in high school, and coming from me, that has to mean something!"
  
  
• I'm watching with George Grande and Chris Walsh on FSN Ohio tonight. Apparently the Reds swept the Rockies. Colorado must really suck.
  
  
• They say Claussen has a deceptive move that might interfere with whatever running game Dusty Baker has in mind. Obviously they haven't been scouting the Cubs.
  
  
• Ramirez: HR! Back to back jacks! Oh, I wish I could hear Ron Santo right now. "Oh yeah baby! [interlude for Pat's call] This is just great. I mean, when the offense is hitting, everything else just falls into place. Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez -- they're just such great hitters. You love to see this."
  
  
• Let's play the "Guess the Cubs.com headline verb" game. Choices: launch, blast or bomb. I'll go with launch. Although, they might try to work out something like "Back to back bombs / blasts explode Cubs past Reds."
  
  [Actual headlines: "Cubs blast off in Cincy" and "Cubs club five homers in rout of Reds." I forgot about 'club.']
  
  
• FSN Ohio has sumo wrestling fried chickens in a Pepsi commercial.
  
  
• They say Reggie Sanders (StL) is out for two months with a broken leg. Not that you wish this on anyone, but still...He's no Pujols, but that Asian they've got backing him up isn't as good as Sanders.
  
  
• Neifi avoids the double play on a ground ball, beating the throw to first. He really should have beaten that play Saturday in the eighth. That still chaps my ass.
  
  
• Williams hits LaRue with a pitch, then a wild pitch lets him take second. It's time to warm up the bullpen. (Right?!?) He hasn't thrown in a long time, and he looks out of gas.
  
  
• Another wild pitch, Lopez to third. Barrett could have blocked that one, though. Still, Williams has nothing left, and the bullpen isn't ready. What happens next is on the Cubs coaches more than Williams, I think.
  
  
• Aurilia hits a homerun into the upper deck. AHH! How did they not see this developing?!? Williams is finally taken down. He was so clearly out of steam, and he hung a slider.
  
  
• Ohio has different Geico commercials! Like a bear eating salmon. It's not that funny, but at least it's fresh. (The commercial, not the salmon, although they're fresh too.)
  
  
• Via text message --
  KEJ: "Fan cam gets an A tonight."
  JCB: "Dammit! I have FSN Ohio. They get an F-."
  
  
• As the scores roll across, I remember that a girl asked me last night if people from the midwest call St. Louis "The Lou." She said she knew a girl who did. I have never heard this, and I don't think I'll adopt the saying.
  
  
• Bob brings up his point about momentun. I'm with you, Bob. I think he's getting even a little bit better. (I hope it's not that I'm getting stupider.)
  
  
• Wait a second... if I eat 15 Hershey bars I can get a t-shirt? Screw Jared -- I'm going for it!
  
  
• Shackelford's name may be long, but Hollandsworth's is longer.
  
  
• Casey is hit by a pitch. Prior lost the grip on a curveball and hit him on the foot. Len says Casey showed "Bill Laimbeer hops."
  
  
• Regarding Walker's throw on Griffey's groundout, Bob says you just have to "Get it done." He missed the opportunity to drop a "Git 'er done!" in there. Where did that saying even come from? I have no idea.
  
  
• Got an e-mail from KJM re: Gerut: "How do you get Jody out of Joseph Diego? I would have thought Joe or J.D. would have been a more manly call on a nickname."
  
  
• Careful, or you'll have a dozen Cubs fans yelling at you to remember Jody Davis. It's hard to call the name of the catcher from the '84 team effeminate. Although, I have no idea if Jody was a nickname for Jody Davis.
  
  
• btweber: "I'm from Champaign-Urbana IL originally and I have heard StL referred to as "The Lou" pretty regularly..."
  
  
• Huh. So "the Lou" is legit. OK. Maybe we can add it to the vernacular, then.
  
  
• btweber: "Even more disturbing is a buddy of mine from Peoria who refers to his home town as "The Ria.""
  
  
• Sounds better suited to a "Hey! Pepto Bismol" commercial with people dancing away their symptoms.
  
  
• I'm still half drunk and pissed off about this one, so I'm going to wait until tomorrow to type my game notes.
  
  
• I'm watching this one delayed via TiVo. I met some people at a bar that had $3.75 32oz. Zegan Bock's, and then someone handed me a jager bomb. It wasn't Todd Wellemeyer, but it was still cool.
  
  
• Gerut is in right field. Burnitz is in center field. So there it is. Yet another permutation catalyst for Dusty's screwball lineups.
  
  
• Freel is back for the Reds. They say Kearns will join the team during the game as well. Maybe he could have gotten there on time if the US would hurry up and get some Maglev trains.
  
  
• Wood strikes out Cruz looking. He finally got his curveball to work. So far, it's almost all fastballs and curveballs, and the curveball is spotty. This isn't good. Where's the slider? The changeup?
  
  
• Rothschild and the trainer visit. Wood stays in, but I wonder what's up? Something is definitely off.
  
  
• Wood is out of the game. Remlinger is in. Uh oh. I'm just still half-drunk, right? This isn't really happening?
  
  
• Beside the point, why Remlinger? Why not Mitre? Or Rusch?
  
  
• They say Wood left with stiffness in his shoulder. Here we go again. Get your peanuts for the elephants because the media circus is coming back to town.
  
  
• Cedeno pinch hits. Mitre is warming up. (Finally.) [...] Valentin hits a leadoff HR. Why did I want Mitre to come in again? He blasted that one 439'. Mitre grooved a high fastball and Valentin swung like he knew it was coming.
  
  
• Burnitz hits a homerun. Back to back jacks! Both on the first pitch. That's in the seventh inning, too, so Irene Willhelm from Chandlerville, Illinois wins $7,000 from WGN Radio. (Or some lucky fan. I made her up to see if it sounded plausible.)
  
  
• The Reds are doing a charity haircut day with Great Clips. You can make a $10 donation for a haircut at an upcoming game. They couldn't do that at Wrigley -- too many bad drunken decisions would ensue. Plus, a lot of the new breed of Cubs fans won't pay less than $45 for a haircut (guys included).
  
  
• Ohman walks in a run. You've got to be kidding me. I'm about ready to stop watching I'm so upset. Dusty brings in Wuertz.
  
  
• KJM: "Maglev train reference? Did your new issue of Popular Science arrive today?"
  
  
• KJM: "Also Pat and Ron mentioned that A&I favorite, Todd Wellemeyer had an excellent outing in AAA starting. They mentioned that maybe that is his strength. Funny thing is, he told me that the night I met him at the bar."
  
  
• Walker hits a homerun. 3RBI with 2 out. Len points out that all three homeruns Walker has hit this series have been off of lefties. I sure am glad Dusty platooned him for a month so Walker only had to face righties before Hendry forced his hand.
  
  
• They play Dire Straits on the lead in. Len says he saw Mark Knopfler last week. Len gains more and more cred every game. Knopfler's new CD is great.
  
  
• Novoa balks. Are you [effing] kidding me?!? A run scores. Then Novoa walks Casey. This game is falling apart.
  
  
• Macias is in for Walker on a double switch?!? What? Again, are you [effing] kidding me?!? It's a TIE GAME. And you take out your third or fourth best hitter? How can this make sense? I know you need Dempster for 2 innings, but his spot is due up fifth. AHHH! If I was watching this at a bar, they might have had to ask me to leave. I'm in full rage.
  
  
• Lopez is out 1-3. Then they intentionally walk Griffey to load the bases. That's the third walk this inning. I don't like this move. It's not as bad as some intentional walks since Griffey is good, but there are also two outs. You're not trying to create a double play opportunity. Kearns is also up next, and he's been as hot as anyone. I have a bad feeling about this.
  
  
• Kearns singles. 2 RBI with 2 outs. Neifi could have gotten to that one, too. I'm not sure why he didn't make that play. Usually he does. Sonofabitch.
  
  
• Now they intentionally walk Dunn. HELL. The Reds bat around. Why are they intentionally walking someone like Dunn with two outs? Any handicapper in the world could tell you that Dunn is about eight times as likely to make an out than to hit a homerun. They're just spoon-feeding momentum to the Reds. Screw this.
  
  
• Aurilia singles. 2RBI. It's time to open the whiskey, a.k.a. novacane for the Cubs fan's soul.
  
  
• The Reds have scored 5 runs on 3 hits. My blood pressure has to be like 160/95 right now. The Cubs have done everything wrong in the second half of this game.
  
  
• I didn't type up my game notes right away because I was too pissed off, but now typing them up this morning I'm pissed off all over again.
  
  
• All eyes are on this one tonight. Got a call from KJM reporting that Ron Santo told the trainer, "Let's go get 'em, big boy" after an interview. Got a call from my old roommate (the St. Louis fan) saying that Len is "glad there's no more artificial turf" in St. Louis, even though it's been gone for like 10 years.
  
  
• Talking about the heat they're expecting tomorrow, Bob Brenley says everyone better "drink lots of fluids tonight." There are a couple of different ways this joke could go, aren't there.
  
  
• Rodrigeuz hits a homerun. Son of a bitch. Who is this guy? I thought we'd get to see Taguchi.
  
  
• Joe Buck says that Chevy and baseball go together. Umm, they do?
  
  
• Wait...in the last 41 games, Neifi is hitting .197? And Cedeno still can't get playing time? Umm, Dusty?
  
  
• They have a mic on Dempster, and he's doing an impersonation of a play by play announcer. OK, that's funny, kind of. Joe Buck impersonating Dempster's impersonation? Very lame.
  
  
• A fan has the 'D. Lee-O-Meter.' I'd rather see either the 'Lee-O-Meter' or the 'Derrek-O-Meter.'
  
  
• Lee walks again with two outs. Automatic response: He should steal second.
  
  
• Stephen A. Smith is getting his own show on ESPN? Why? Who likes that guy on TV?
  
  
• Blanco reaches on an infield single. When's the last time that happened?
  
  
• The Cardinals intentionally walk Lee. Four walks for him today. I think the baseball gods will favor the Cubs for this move, as St. Louis is the first team to take the pansy route against Lee.
  
  
• Neifi hits a grand slam! Oh my god! He hadn't done anything all week, then lines a homerun down the line.